ReliefSeeker

How to Last Longer in Bed as a Guy

Author: Alicia Butler

If you suffer from premature ejaculation, you’re not alone. Nearly 40% of men experience PE at some point in their lives — that’s nearly half the population of men! 

Luckily, your sex life doesn’t need to suffer, even if you don’t last as long as you or your partner would like. Find out how to last longer in bed as a guy, delay ejaculation, and feel sexually satisfied (while satisfying your partner, too!).

Types of Premature Ejaculation

There are two types of premature ejaculation: primary and secondary. 

Primary ejaculation is when you’ve always experienced issues with ejaculating too soon; secondary is when the condition develops over time (after you’ve had many sexual experiences that ended in healthy ejaculation).

Premature ejaculation earlier in life is very normal; yet, you may want to talk to a healthcare professional if you’re experiencing difficulty lasting longer. If you’re experiencing PE after years of lasting longer, you probably have secondary ejaculation. This is usually caused by lifestyle factors, biological conditions, or mental issues.

Premature Ejaculation Vs Erectile Dysfunction

Premature ejaculation is when you ejaculate too soon after the start of intercourse. Erectile dysfunction is when you have difficulty getting or maintaining an erection. Medications like Viagra are often prescribed for the latter — but won’t work for PE. 

Premature Ejaculation Causes

Premature ejaculation is very personal and specific. The main causes of this condition include genetics, hormone imbalances, lifestyle factors, and psychological conditions. Yet, only you and your urologist can determine why you’re not lasting longer in bed. 

If any of the below common causes of PE resound with you, read on to find out which treatment options may work best. 

Depression/Anxiety

One of the main causes of premature ejaculation is depression and anxiety. While women understand that sex is mostly a mental job, men can also get aroused or turned off by depression and anxiety caused by biological and situational triggers. 

When you’re suffering from a chemical imbalance or a mental health condition, your body may not be able to function as usual. With anxiety, your fight-or-flight system (sympathetic nervous system) may be activated; when this happens, your body shuts down non-essential functions.

Long-term sympathetic nervous system activation can cause compounded health issues over time.

Sexual Abuse

Men that have suffered sexual trauma and abuse are also more likely to develop premature ejaculation (or any other sexual dysfunction, such as erectile dysfunction).

Whether or not the trauma is repressed can create negative associations and connotations with sexual activity and affect your conscious and subconscious thoughts about sex. 

People that suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) often also suffer from sexual dysfunctions.  

Self-Image

You may not last as long in bed as you’d like because of psychological issues related to self-image or body image. 

Men that worry about their appearance, weight, genital size, or endurance are more likely to suffer from sexual dysfunctions. Again, since sex is a mental activity, any type of mental disruption may lead to primary or secondary premature ejaculation.

PE Anxiety

To make matters worse, you may be suffering from premature ejaculation simply because you have so much anxiety about PE in general. 

When you’re so focused on lasting as long as possible, you’re more likely to do the thing you’re obsessed with avoiding. It’s like trying not to visualize a pink elephant when you’re told not to visualize the elephant.

Hormone Imbalances

Many men suffer from hormonal imbalances that lead to sexual dysfunction. Since the biological side of sex is driven by hormones, imbalances may lead to premature ejaculation and/or erectile dysfunction.

If you’re concerned you may have a hormonal imbalance, talk to your doctor about getting tested. Or, order an at-home health test kit to find out for yourself in less than a few days.

Infection/Inflammation

Any infection or inflammation of the genitals (including sexually transmitted diseases) may also lead to premature ejaculation. In the case of an infection, you may notice symptoms like inflammation, pain, discomfort, itching, or burning. 

Since these symptoms can also lead to larger health issues (including STDs), you’ll want to talk to your doctor immediately — or contact an urgent care center.  

Genetics

Premature ejaculation can also be biologically inherited. If you’re concerned that someone else in your family suffers from PE, you may want to check out some of the below treatment options. 

Premature Ejaculation Risk Factors

There are some risk factors that may lead to a higher probability of premature ejaculation. If you’re not lasting long in bed, you may want to consider changing your lifestyle or considering some of the below factors. 

Age

Premature ejaculation can happen at any age, though it may be more likely to happen in younger and older men. If you’re young and suffer from PE, you may want to talk to your doctor (though it may be a condition that simply goes away on its own). If you’re suffering from PE for the first time and you're over the age of 40, you may want to talk to your doctor about treatment options or consider some of the below lifestyle changes. 

Nutrition

Eating a balanced diet can support your body’s systems and decrease your chances of depression and anxiety. 

Foods that support your system can balance your hormones and provide energy and vitality. While your diet may not be the cause of your PE, eating certain foods and using supplements can help support your body and reduce the likelihood of developing it.

Exercise

Your body needs at least 30 minutes of exercise each day. Exercise can balance your hormones, reduce stress, and elevate your mood. Essentially, exercise is nature’s antidepressant. 

If you exercise, you’re also less likely to suffer from body image issues contributing to PE. 

Stimulant Use

Stimulant use is another major contributor to PE (especially if you suffer from any other risk factors on this list). 

Using nicotine, caffeine, sugar, cannabis, and other stimulants may lead to hormonal imbalances that can lead to premature ejaculation. If you’re concerned about your PE, you may want to consider cutting down on coffee and sugar, stop smoking, or limiting legal cannabis intake. 

Sexual Experience/Stigmas

If you’ve only had limited sexual experiences, have performance anxiety, or are worried about certain social stigmas surrounding sex (like not lasting long enough), you may also be more likely to suffer from premature ejaculation. 

If you’re concerned your PE is the result of a biological condition, you’ll want to talk to your doctor; if it’s the result of psychological issues, you’ll want to chat with a licensed therapist specializing in sexual issues. 

Treatments to Help You Last Longer

Luckily, there are plenty of treatments to help you last longer and treat your PE. Since both biological and psychological factors usually cause this condition, you may want to talk to both a medical doctor and a psychologist. 

Sometimes PE is simply overstimulation, and treatments like premature ejaculation swipes will help you treat your condition in just a few minutes. 

Roman Endurance Swipes

One of the most popular treatments for lasting longer is benzocaine swipes. These wipes have a numbing effect when applied to the head of the penis. They contain an anesthetic that takes under five minutes to start working. 

Simply wipe the head of the penis with a swipe a few minutes before intercourse, and you’ll last longer. 

Roman Endurance Swipes are one such brand of swipes that cost less than $1 a day. 

Hims Spray and Swipes

Similar to benzocaine swipes and other desensitizers, lidocaine spray is another form of PE treatment and desensitization. Hims makes both spray and swipes. 

Simply spray the lidocaine on the areas that are most sensitive up to 10 minutes before intercourse. The lidocaine will be absorbed into your skin, it won’t overly numb the area, and it won’t affect your partner’s experience, either. 

Antidepressants

While swipes and sprays are great for biological (and some psychological) causes of PE, they’re no substitute for good old fashioned therapy and psychiatry. 

If you’re suffering from anxiety and depression in addition to PE, you may want to consult a therapist to get treatment. A psychiatrist is licensed to prescribe medications to treat your depression and anxiety, such as selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs).

Online psychiatry platforms such as Talkspace Psychiatry can match you with a psychiatrist that can prescribe the right medication (with few side effects) for your mental health issues. 

How to Last Longer in Bed Naturally

If you want to last longer in bed naturally, these tips will help you better control your ejaculate. Even if you’re getting treated for premature ejaculation, you may want to make a few lifestyle changes or try some of these tricks to last longer in bed — even if you run out of swipes or spray.

Know Your Body/Go Slow

If you’re experiencing primary premature ejaculation, you may simply need some time to figure out to last longer naturally. Simply understanding your own body, needs, and timing may be the key to preventing premature ejaculation.

Masturbation can actually help you prevent premature ejaculation in the future. It allows you time to get to know your body in a no-pressure situation. Discover what ‘slows you down’ or keeps you from ejaculating too soon.

A lot of men also use foreplay to delay ejaculation. Focusing on your partner can help regulate your experience and keep you aroused without climaxing. 

Eat Right 

If you want to reach orgasm at a time that’s right for you, you’ll want to eat right. Eating foods that support your hormones can ensure you last as long as you want. Eat foods high in zinc, magnesium, and omega 3s, including salmon, oysters, pumpkin seeds, and almonds.

Exercise

It’s important to get at least 30 minutes of exercise each day. Exercise can fight depression and anxiety as well as promote your cardiovascular function — three factors that can fight premature ejaculation. 

Take Supplements

Sometimes premature ejaculation is the result of vitamin deficiencies. To find out if you have a deficiency, you’ll want to order an at-home health test kit. You should get your lab results in a few days and find out if you should be on any supplements. 

Men with zinc and magnesium deficiencies are more likely to suffer from PE than others. 

Acupuncture/Meditation

Naturopathic medicine also has a few wellness methods to help you increase the amount of time it takes to climax. Acupuncture and meditation (when used in conjunction with therapy and lifestyle changes) can make sex last longer and even feel more pleasurable.

Meditation may help you learn to focus on the current moment (instead of worrying about not lasting long enough). If you’re new to meditation, you can always download a meditation app to help you learn some easy techniques.

Naturopaths also find that acupuncture may be helpful in balancing your hormones and clearing your mind before sex. 

Talk to a Therapist

If your PE is caused by trauma, sexual abuse, or self-image issues, you may want to talk to a therapist. Even if you simply suffer from anxiety or depression, talking to a therapist may help you work through the issues that are causing premature ejaculation.

Online therapy platforms like Talkspace can match you with a sex therapist. Schedule live video sessions, or chat via text, video, or voice message with your therapist. 

Use Protection

Using condoms offers plenty of health benefits. Reduce your chance of unwanted pregnancy, protect yourself from STDs, and last longer in bed!

Men that use condoms regularly often state that the condom tends to desensitize their penises, allowing them to last longer than if they wore nothing at all. 

Change Positions

Some sex positions may allow you to last longer than others. Any position that promotes shallow penetration may help reduce the chances of premature ejaculation, whereas deep penetration may force you to reach climax too soon.  

If you suffer from premature ejaculation and want to last longer in bed, there are plenty of ways to keep you and your partner happy. You may want to contact both a medical doctor and a therapist to ensure both your body and mind are healthy. 

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Alicia Butler

Since 2011 Alicia has worked as a travel, health, and wellness writer & editor contributing to widely read digital publications such as The Spruce, The Balance and The Spruce Pets, VeryWell, and TripSavvy. Alicia is a marketing expert, entrepreneur, and avid traveler!

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